How to Find the Right Therapist
Finding a therapist can be scary, hard, and confusing. Just because I am a therapist, does not mean that I think I’m the best therapist for everyone. I believe that finding the right therapist is as important as finding the right pair of shoes. Not every pair fits, even if the tag says that they should.
Finding a therapist can also be complicated by the insurance system. Many people have some mental health coverage in their insurance plan. To find out if your plan includes mental health coverage call the phone number on your insurance to find out. If it does, and you want to use it, you can do your own research and then look to see if any of the therapists you find are listed on your health insurance website. Many therapists do not take health insurance for a variety of reasons. These therapists may charge a full-fee or have a sliding fee scale.
5 Questions to Ask Yourself:
1. What problem am I going to therapy to solve?
2. Who in my life do I find it easiest to talk to, or, what did I like best and least about my last therapist?
3. Am I looking for a person familiar with a specific issue or community? For example, do I need a therapist who specializes in grief and loss?
4. What am I most worried about? What am I least worried about?
5. What is my budget?
These five questions will help you narrow down your search for a therapist. They will help you have an idea of what you’re looking for. Writing down the answers to these questions can help you figure out how you want to talk about it to a perspective therapist
5 Questions to Ask a Perspective Therapist:
1. Are you licensed? What is your license in?
2. Do you have experiencing working with ___________(whatever your specific need is)?
3. Have you worked with clients who are ______________(any specific population you belong to, for example: “LGBT” or “Jewish”)
4. What is your fee? Do you offer a free consultation? (Many therapists offer an in-person consultation. This consultation gives you a chance to see if they’re someone you want to work with – to learn if it “feels” right.)
5. What is most important to you when working with a client?
The most important thing to remember is that you have a choice and often the first therapist you meet is not the best one for you. When we have to do things we don’t want to do, we often put them off or try to get them over quickly. Although finding a therapist can be difficult, you have the right to take your time and make the decision that is best for you.
Damon M. Constantinides, LSW, M.Ed.
www.therapistdamon.com
www.dmcconsult.net
First-Date Adventures
First-Date Adventures
The holidays are almost over and the New Year is right around the corner. What do you want in 2011? If you’re single and frustrated about it, 2011 can be a new year and a new start. First dates can be especially stressful. Here are some tips to help you on your first first-date of the new year.
1. Be yourself
It is possible that you are not what your date is looking for. And that’s ok. You want to go on a date with someone who likes you for who you are. If you’re looking for a relationship, then you’re going to want someone who accepts and loves you, all of you.
2. Know what you want and be honest about it
Are you looking for a long term relationship? A short-term relationship? Someone to have sex with? There’s no right answer to the question, “What do you want?” But having some kind of idea allows you to tell you to be straight forward and honest. If you don’t know what you want make a list. Maybe you know what you don’t want – start there and works towards what you do want.
3. Communicate openly
Practice ahead of time saying what you want and what you’re looking for. If you don’t know, that’s ok – just be honest and focus on what you do know, “I’d like to get to know you better.”
4. Don’t be afraid to say no
If you don’t feel turned on by someone then they’re not the right person for you. You don’t need to be mean about it but you do need to be honest with yourself.
5. Don’t be afraid to say yes
If you want things to change then they need to be different. Take a risk and say yes. If it feels uncomfortable it means you’re doing it right.
6. It’s an adventure
Have fun! Try a new restaurant or coffee shops. Think of dates as mini adventures.
7. “a bad date” isn’t that bad
A bad date does mean that you failed. A bad date does not mean that you will never have a good date. A bad date is just a bad date.
8. Stay present
Try not to think about what happens next or what you’re supposed to do. Instead just pay attention to having fun and having an adventure.
9. Stay open
Adventures do not always go the way we think they will. But that doesn’t mean we don’t like them. Maybe you need to date someone different than you usually do. Maybe you need to try someone new to find what feels good.
10. Learn from your experiences
Dates are not only adventures they are also experiments. What worked well? What didn’t? Take a minute to think about it and make a mental note.
Damon M. Constantinides, LSW, M.Ed
www.dmcconsult.net, damon@dmcconsult.net
Therapy Offices in Philadelphia: Damon M. Constantinides
Updated profile on Psychology Today: http://Therapists.PsychologyToday.com/rms/78556
